


Bliss

by bonvoyagewho



Category: EXO, Hunhan - Fandom, SeLu - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7197533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonvoyagewho/pseuds/bonvoyagewho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Sehun wishes for is for Luhan to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bliss

All Sehun wishes for is for Luhan to be happy.

  
Ever since the two met 6 years ago, ever since Sehun laid his eyes on the older lad, he wanted to make him happy. The Luhan from 6 years ago wasn't exactly a bubbly one. He was a quiet person, the type that would stay hidden as if he wanted to blend with the walls. While Luhan was the wallflower type, Sehun was the outgoing one. Sehun wasn't exactly popular but he wasn't that unpopular too. And so Sehun thought that he was fortunate, so fortunate, to have met Luhan in the library that day.  
Sehun still remembers the sudden twinkle in Luhan's bored and tired eyes when he asked him, "May I take a seat?". And Sehun wonders too, if Luhan still remembers the way Sehun smiled when he said, "Yes..". Ever since that day, Sehun promised to himself to make it his wish, his responsibility even, to make Luhan happy.

  
The meetings in the library became more often and soon enough, Sehun found himself falling for the older lad. Although there's one problem...... Luhan was straight. Hearing this made Sehun fall into All Sehun wishes for is for Luhan to be happy.depression. The only thing that brought him back to his normal self were Luhan's words, "You're different. And you make me feel diferent," And that was enough, more than enough, for Sehun to know that Luhan feels the same way too.  
Even after years since their relationship started, Sehun continues to make Luhan happy. The smiles they shared were sincere, their hugs were warm, and their kisses were passionate. But still, his wish stays the same.

  
Even when Sehun falls into a deep coma.

\---

He hears everything you say.

Sehun hears everything, they believe. But yes, he does. Sehun hears the cries, words of encouragement, and worst of all, words of pity for him. Every sound made him curious, although he doesn't know whom it belongs to. He wanted to open his eyes and see for himself but obviously he can't. But they weren't exactly sure if Sehun can still remember them when he wakes up-- if he wakes up.

  
Years passed, seasons and seasons changed, time had gone by. It seems impossible for Sehun to wake up now. Sehun continues to hear sounds that he isn't able to decipher. But out of all the sounds he heard these past years, one seems to stand out. A voice, a soft one, spoke so quietly as if the person was just next to him whispering the words...

_Wake up._

It was painful. The sudden feeling of his senses rushing back to his control. It was his finger that he was able to move first and it was very painful for his muscles, that's more like stone at the moment. Next were his eyes. He opened them but had to close it again so he can adjust to the sudden brightness. Sehun feels tired, so tired, that even he was sure that he'll go back to sleep if his eyes stayed close for even for another second. So when he opened them again, he took the time to look at his surroundings. Just by seeing the white walls and breathing in the metallic stench of the room, Sehun knew. He is at a hospital.

  
Sehun wanted to remove all the wires from his skin and leave immediately, but he feels so tired, so weak, _so vulnerable_ and he can even barely move. Sehun tried to get up and sit. It took much time and energy for him, he's struggling but finally he succeeded and rested his upper body on the headboard of the hospital bed. It was then that Sehun realized that sitting had never been this tiresome. After closing his eyes for a bit, he turned his head towards the window and instead of seeing the view outside, Sehun saw his reflection.

  
At first, he didn't believe that it really is him. The Sehun on the reflection is pale, his cheekbones are prominent, his hair is longer, much much longer, and disheveled. It was like nothing like Sehun last remembered. And so he wondered, how long was he really out.

  
Sehun tried to look for a clock or a calendar, anything that can tell him the exact date today, but he didn't find any. He was about to shout for help when he heard it, his heart. He brought his hand to his chest, and there he feels it, the beating of his heart. It seems familiar yet at the same time, unfamiliar to him. Why does he feel that it has been so long since he last felt his heart beating?

  
The door opened and Sehun whipped his head to its direction, only to see someone with his eyes almost bulging out of its socket and mouth wide open. It's like he just saw a dead person come back to life... And in this case, Sehun looks just like that dead person.  
And for the first time in years, Sehun finally heard his voice again.

  
"Jongin?"

\---

A few moments later, Sehun found himself being watched by 4 pairs of eyes. It was awkward for Sehun actually. Very very awkward. Sehun took note that his friends aren't just staring... They are actually glaring at him. What did he even do? At the moment, Sehun felt so little. He was the one who woke up in a hospital, innocent and clueless, yet his friends are glaring at him as if he has done something wrong. Fortunately, Sehun isn't the only one who's feeling uncomfortable. Because Kyungsoo spoke up to break the tension in the room.

"Aren't you guys treating him in a wrong way?" Kyungsoo asked.  
"I'm just copying Jongin," Jongdae said.  
"Same," Chanyeol answered.  
Kyungsoo could only facepalm at his friends, "You guys are idiots,"

The room became even more silent, if still possible, after that. Thankfully, Jongin isn't glaring at him anymore.. Sehun was curious and he's dying to talk, to now something, anything. So this time, like a hammer, Sehun broke the silence like glass being shattered into a million pieces.

  
"Have I done something wrong?"  
Jongin never scoffed at Sehun before. Never. But Sehun swears that Jongin did just now, "You were out for 8 years," he said in a calm but scary tone.  
"What?" Sehun was surpised. He never heard Jongin speak like that to anyone.  
"You were out for 8 years, Sehun. 8 fucking years!" the tanned boy finally snapped. Jongin threw his cellphone to the patient harshly and fortunately, Sehun caught it in his hands. He had no idea why Jongin threw it at him, not until he unlocked the phone. It showed the date that Sehun didn't even expect.

  
_April 7, 2021_

"For 8 fucking years, Oh Sehun ,you were out, you were in a coma. Barely alive, almost dead," Jongin spat as if he was blaming Sehun.  
Sehun's hands started shaking so Jongin's phone fell on the mattress of the hospital bed. No one seems to notice though since everyone was trying to calm Jongin down. It came to the point where Chanyeol had to take him out of the room. And now that Sehun is left alone with Kyungsoo and Jongdae, they slowly told him what happened 8 years ago.

\---

_Today is considered a good day and Sehun plans to make it even better, perfect even. It is Luhan and Sehun's anniversary. He bought flowers because he knows that Luhan loves flowers. Other than that, he also bought a puppy, a fluffy white one, because he knows how much it would make Luhan happier. Sehun was with Jongin that day and he keeps on telling him, "Today will be perfect," Jongin can only nod._

  
_On the way to Luhan's place, Sehun was sturggling to carry both the flowers and the puppy. Jongin also kept on complaining that they should've taken a cab instead of walking. Sehun shrugged him off and only answered that it's worth the effort if he can make Luhan happy. Then out of nowhere, the puppy got out of Sehun's arms and is now crossing the street. Sehun panicked and shoved the flowers to Jongin before running after the puppy. He needs to catch it. It's for Luhan, his Luhan._

  
_Jongin told Sehun to stop. But it was too late. A speeding truck has laready hit Sehun. Jongin dropped the flowers and rushed to his friend. From the looks of it, Sehun has been hit pretty badly. Jongin was sobbing as he was shouting for help. For some reasons, the puppy came back and it was barking nonstop as if it's helping Jongin to ask for help._  
_The truck that hit Sehun was carrying apples, red ones, and they're now everywhere on the street. Jongin saw how red the apples are, just like the crimson that is now covering the black asphalt, Sehun's blood. Jongin tried to keeps his friend awake and just like chanting a mantra, he kept on repeating the same words._

  
_"Stay with me, Sehun. Stay with me,"_

\---

The whole time Jongdae and Kyungsoo were talking, Sehun barely even listened to them. All he understood was he got hit by a truck and the next thing he knew, he's been in a coma for 8 years. Sehun regrets the wasted time. 8 years... That's a lot. And he spent it lying on the same bed he's sitting on right now. He wpul've finished his studies in those 8 years. He would've gotten a job. He would've married Luhan by then.

  
_Luhan... How could he forget?_

  
"Where is Luhan?" Sehun asked, his voice shaking.

  
The other two were taken aback by his question and they weren't able to answer. Sehun's body is shaking uncontrollably shaking now and the two panicked. Jongdae tried to get his thoughts away from Luhan but Sehun won't budge. He kept on asking where Luhan is and the more Jongdae and Kyungsoo stayed quiet about it, the more agitated Sehun becomes. Kyungsoo ran out to get a doctor while Jongdae did his best to calm Sehun down.

  
The doctor arrived with a few nurses behind him and the next thing Sehun knew, a syringe already pierced his skin. Jongdae, who is now exhausted, went outside to join the others. Before Sehun completely lost his consciousness, he heard his friends arguing outside. He only heard a sentence and he has no idea what it means.

  
_"You can't keep it from him forever,"_

\---

"If you mentioned Luhan to him, you should've told him the whole truth. You left out a big part of the story, you know?" Jongin said while the doctor and the nurses were working on Sehun.  
"For fuck's sake, Jongin, your bestfriend just woke up from a coma," Kyungsoo never curses. And the other three are sure that Kyungsoo must be really furious to curse like that out of nowhere, "And you already want to throw a bomb staright to his face? You can't tell him. It'll stress him much further,"  
"Kyungsoo, I know you're caring and all that shit, but Sehun has the right to know... You can't keep it from him forever," Jongin argued.  
Chanyeol, who was quiet all this time, gave his opinion too, "Sorry Kyungsoo, I know I treat Jongin like an idiot, but I'm with him this time. He's right," And just by looking at Jongdae, Kyungsoo is sure that he agress with them too.  
"Fine. But the least we can do is to let Sehun hear the truth from Luhan himself. Not me, not you, just Luhan," And as Kyungsoo finished talking, he fished out his phone from his pocket and dialed Luhan's number. After a few rings, he answered.

  
_"Hello?"_

\---

The next day, a nurse woke Sehun early so he can eat his breakfast and have his vitals checked. They informed Sehun that the doctors still need to run a few tests on him and afterwards he can spend the whole day doing whatever he wants. Not that he could really do anything without exhausting himself. The nurse helped him clean up a little so he can take a bath by himself later. The nurse assigned to him is very kind and Sehun is more than grateful to have her help him until he gets back up with his two feet.

"Good morning, Mr.Oh," the nurse says, "Your vitals are getting better. Good for you. If this continues, you'll be discharged by next week,"

  
She sounds so kind and innocent and her eyes twinkle at every words she says. Sehun wasn't able to to say anything else, afraid that his words might offend her. She's too kind. So Sehun just nodded and smiled at her. She checked before Sehun's IV drop one last time turning back to him, "Your breakfast will be served soon so please wait for a moment,"  
The nurse sounds friendly and Sehun find no harm to talk to her, "I hate hospital food," he sulked.  
"Oh don't worry. I allowed your friends to bring you foods because they told me how much you hated hospital food. Please keep it a secret, though," she answered. Sehun can't help it any longer so he asked, "How come you're so kind to me?"  
And with this, she smiled with her eyes, "Everyone deserves kindess. And besides, I've been looking after you for the past 8 years. I consider you someone important to me, as my patient. Have a good day, Mr.Oh," And with that, she closed the door quietly and left Sehun in awe.

  
Even after being in a coma, Sehun knows that he isn't attracted to the opposite sex, he is sure of that. But even if he's gay, he is sure that any guy would be lucky to have that lady as his lover.

Soon after, noise filled Sehun's room as his friends entered with a tray of food for him. And just like what the nurse said earlier, she did allow them to bring him "normal" foods. There are bacon and eggs, pancakes, and butter toast. Sehun didn't realize how hungry he was until now. Kyungsoo carefully set the tray on his bed so that Sehun can eat comfortably. Just as Sehun was abou to take his first bite, Chanyeol sat in front of him, staring deeply into his eyes.  
"Luhan," Chanyeol said and grinned like an idiot he is, according to Kyungsoo.  
"What?" Sehun asked, completely beffudled with the situation.  
"See? He doesn't throw a tantrum anymore! He can go out, even just for today," Jongdae told Junmyeon.

  
And that's when Sehun finally noticed another familiar face. Kim Junmyeon, wearing a ridiculously white lab coat, black eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, a stethoscope hanging down from his neck, and a name plate pinned to the breast pocket of his lab coat. Kim Junmyeon, his friend, that he also considers as a brother, is now a doctor. It was Sehun's dream to be one ever since he was little. And Sehun felt a little envious of his friend for being someone who he had always dreamed of. Junmyeon, seeing the look on Sehun's eyes, pursed his lips before finally deciding to talk.

  
"I think you guys should go out first,"  
"So you can have an alone time with him? Nah-uh," Chanyeol butted in.

  
"The last time I remember, you were straight, hyung," Jongdae continued.  
Junmyeon gave Kyungsoo the "look" and Kyungsoo doesn't need to think twice before standing from his seat and gladly dragged Chanyeol and Jongdae outside with him. Now that the room is quiet again, Sehun happily took the first bite of food he had in years. Junmyeon let him finish his food first before finally speaking.

  
"I'm not gay if that's what you're gonna ask," Junmyeon said in a matter of fact tone, "Don't believe those two. They're idiots,"  
"They are idiots," Sehun repeated, "And besides, I know very well that only you and Yifan hyung are the straight ones in our circle of friends,"  
"Well, good at least you know,"

Sehun became silent for a while again but he wanted to ask the older lad something... anything. The problem is he doesn't know how or where to start. How could he even ask, when all he feels is pity for himself and envy.

  
While Sehun wanted to be a doctor, Luhan wanted to be a nurse. They really are a perfect match, aren't they? Sehun once pictured Luhan in a female nurse's uniform which resulted to Luhan hitting him hard on the back of his head. But in reality, Sehun only pictured himself working in a hospital with Luhan working beside him. Both were sharing smiles while having hidden kisses in the middle of working in their shift. Sehun's imagination grew wild again so he stopped.

  
"I thought you didn't want to be a doctor," Sehun finally said.  
Junmyeon slowly took off his eyeglasses and carefully put them on the bedside table, "I didn't. You know how much I wanted to be a singer, right?"  
"Then why-"  
"It's my parents,"

  
Sehun didn't have to ask furthermore. He knows how manipulative Junmyeon's parents can be. As Sehun listens to Junmyeon's story, he learns that his parents pushed him to study to death so that he'll be done in 6 years instead of 11-16 years. And with his family's connections, here stands Kim Junmyeon before him, a well known doctor fot his looks and brains.  He also found out that Junmyeon's parents run the hospital he's staying at and that he volunteered to be the assigned doctor for Sehun.

  
"Why?" Sehun asked.  
"I don't know if you've forgotten, but I'm your friend 8 years ago before you got hit by that stupid truck," the older lad answered with a hint of sarcasm in his tone."Any other questions?"  
"Jongdae mentioned about asking your permission if I could go out today so.... can I?"  
Junmyeon reached for his glasses and wore them again, "As a doctor, no, you still need rest and a few sessions of rehab. But as a friend, yes. Today is an exception so I'm allowing you,"  
Sehun thanked him and Junmyeon patted his back. And as Junmyeon stood up to leave, he gave Sehun a teasing look.  
"And Sehun, you need a haircut,"

\---

After a nurse gave Sehun a decent haircut, he is now good to go. He was disappointed that it wasn't the kind nurse from earlier but he didn't say a word. While waiting, Sehun plays with his phone. He noticed how outdated his phone is compared to the others. Sehun kept playing with his phone until the door to his room opened, revealing Jongin.

  
"Ready to go?"  
"Yeah.." Sehun slowly made his way to Jongin and said, "You're not going to throw your phone at me this time again, are you?"  
"Nah... I'm fine. Kyugsoo talked to me already," the tanned boy answered, "Speaking of phones, we are so going to buy you a new one later. Yours is shitty as fuck,"  
"Kyungsoo would't be delighted to hear you cursing like that,"  
"It's fine, he heard me already and besides, he cursed like 24 hours ago,"  
"He did?!" Sehun gasped.  
"He was really furious, you should've seen his face. It was priceless!"

  
The two talked like they did 8 years ago. The two shared laughters just like they did before. It's like everything is back to normal. It's like Sehun never goy into a coma either. And Sehun hoped that besides from everyone's phones, nothing else changed in the time that he was gone.

\---

"Welcome,"

  
After buying a new phone for Sehun, the two decided to go to a bubble tea shop to satisfy Sehun's cravings. Jongin is helping Sehun with his new phone when their orders arrived. Finally, Sehun was able to take the first sip of his favorite drink in years. At least that fact didn't change.

  
"Where exactly are we going?" Sehun asks, " I don't think you mentioned it earlier,"  
Jongin put his drink on the table and sighed heavily, as if gaining his composure or something. And in that action Sehun noticed, the laughing Jongin from earlier disappeared.  
"I'm taking you to Luhan,"  
"Luhan?"

  
Sehun felt happy, ecstatic even. He's going to see Luhan again after all these years! Luhan must have missed him as much as he does.

  
"The others already went ahead of us. After this, I'll take you there," Jongin told him.  
"You should've told me earlier," Sehun stood up, "I'll go buy him a cup of his favorite drink,"  
"Sehun,"

  
The said lad turned to look at Jongin and he caught the nervous look on Jongin's eyes. It was there in a moment and in the next, gone.

  
"You should buy another one. A chocolate flavored one, I mean,"  
"Uh.. Why? I just drank one,"  
"Just buy one, okay?" Jongin finished his drink and stood up, "I'll wait for you in the car,"

  
Sehun was left confused and dumfounded. In the end, he came out of the shop with two cups of buble tea in his hands; taro flavored and chocolate flavored. Arriving at Jongin's car, Sehun sat on the front beside the driver's seat. When they were both set, Jongin started to drive towards the street.

  
"I can't believe you beat me in getting a driver's license first," Sehun sulked.  
"Well I'm still older thank you by a few months so deal with it," Jongin boasted.  
Sehun was about to throw a harsh remark back at him when he noticed where Jongin is heading.  
"Hey isn't Luhan's house in the other direction? I think you turned in the wrong road,"  
Jongin didn't stop. But he didn't ignore what Sehun said either.  
"We're going to his new place. Luhan bought a new house 2 years after you got into coma,"

\---

Half an hour later, the two arrived at a quiet and peaceful neighborhood. Sehun wasn't surprised at the fact that Luhan chose to live in a quiet location. Even after all these years, Luhan's love for serenity hasn't changed at all. Jongin parked at one side of the street and Sehun took the time to observe the place. The house is much bigger than the one Luhan stayed in before. The walls are painted dirty white and there is a small garden on the side. Sehun wondered how Luhan managed to make this house lively and homey by himself. Another familiar figure came from the back of the house carrying a huge box.

  
"Guys they're here!" Baekhyun shouted and ran over to Sehun.  
"Man, I missed you," he hugged Sehun.  
"I admit, I missed you too," Sehun let out a hearty laugh, "You sure didn't change ever since I last saw you. Not to mention your height-- ouch!" he winced in pain as Baekhyun stepped on his foot.  
"Now now, don't tease our little devil. You know how sensitive heis when it comes to his height," Jongdae, who just arrived, tried to brighten up the mood.  
"Excuse me, but your height isn't something to be proud of too," Baekhyun argued.

  
They all laughed at Baekhyun harsh remark. It's just like the good old days again. Oh how Sehun wished that he could take those wasted 8 years back.

  
"What is that box for? Is it someone's birthday or something?" Sehun asked Baekhyun.  
"Oh this? This is for-"  
"Sehun?"

  
The last time Sehun heard that voice was the day before he got into an accident. And Sehun felt his hearbeat go faster than usual. If those machines in the hospital are still connected to Sehun, he is sure that they would've bepped like crazy. It's just that the sound of that voice drives Sehun mad. And after all these years, he gets to hear it again.

  
"Luhan,"  
_"Shixun... It's you,"_ Luhan smiled ever so brightly.

  
The two stared at each other and just like in the movies, everything seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them on the screen. They didn't even notice that the others already left them. And as Luhan walked closer to him, Sehun felt like he went back to the first day he met Luhan. Because Sehun fell for him all over again.

  
"Long time no see," Luhan greeted.  
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Sehun greeted back.  
"8 years, right? I'm glad that you woke up, Sehun. I really am,"  
"I see that you haven't changed at all,"  
Luhan chuckled but it disappeared in a second, "Not really,"

  
Sehun observes Luhan once more and all he sees is the person that he loved, loves, and will always love. He's still glowing to him, and his height didn't change either. His hair, though, is now black unlike from before which was auburn. All in all, he didn't change at all and he's still the Luhan from before. Sehun doesn't have any idea why Luhan thinks otherwise.

  
"Can we go out, Luhan?" Sehun asks, "I missed you. I missed you so much and we can do the things we weren't able to do for the past 8 years,"  
"I'm sorry, we can't, Hun. Not today," Luhan kindly rejected. He took the initiative to walk away and sit under a tree, a sycamore tree. Luhan patted the spcae next to him and Sehun gladly followed.  
"It's a sycamore tree. Our favorite tree," Sehun mumbles.  
"I especially bought the place just beause of it. It reminds me of you... of us," Luhan smiled, and Sehun noticed, bitterly.  
"You never rejected me before. But now you did. Can I ask why?"  
"A lot of things changed, Sehun. And I want you to get used to it,"

  
Sehun is beyond confused to hear such words slip out from Luhan's mouth. There are no more jokes to laugh at, all he hears are serious answers. It was like the quiet Luhan that Sehun first met. And now, even for just a bit, Sehun believes that Luhan really has changed.

  
"I hope taro is still your favorite," Sehun smiles as he handed the plastic bag of drinks to Luhan.

  
Luhan gladly accepted it and as he takes his first sip, gone was the serious Luhan and there, Sehun witnessed, the child-like Luhan from before.

  
"Here's yours," Luhan handed him the other cup.  
"Oh I already drank one. Jongin told me to buy one so I did,"

  
Luhan choked.

  
"So it's not for you?" Luhan asks, "And you have no idea why Jongin told you to buy this?"

  
Sehun shook his head and that made Luhan cover his face out of frustration, Sehun guesses. It seems like Luhan is panicking, but why? luhan stood up and tried to gain his composure back. Luhan isn't ready for this. He thought Sehun already knows.

  
"It's for her," Luhan whispered to himself and tears started to form in his eyes.  
"They wanted you to hear it directly from me," he continues, his back still facing Sehun.  
"Hear what from you? Luhan, what is it?" Sehun asked, almost impatient.

  
There are secrets meant to be told and secrets that are meant to be kept hidden. Sehun is curious, heck he is dying to know. But as soon as the words slip out of Luhan's mouth, Sehun wished that Luhan was lying. Because as Luhan faced him, he's smiling but the tears in his eyes are evident. And Sehun wished that he never heard it.

  
_"I'm married, Sehun..."_

  
Sehun felt ice, freezing his whole being, making him incapable of speech. And the Sehun felt rage, fire that is slowly burning his heart to ashes. Burning every emotion there is, leaving only anger and pain behind.

  
"Say something," Luhan pleaded.  
As Sehun stood up he mumbles, "How could you?"  
"I'm sorry,"  
"You were supposed to wait for me!" Sehun shouts.  
"I did, Sehun. Promise, I did,"  
"If you really loved me, you wouldn't give up! Do you know how painful it is to feel so left out? And now you're telling me you're married?"  
"Maybe I don't know how painful that is," Luhan says, surprisingly calm, "But do you have any idea how much it hurts to see you every single day lying on that bed without improvement? How much I keep on wishing that you would wake up? I visited you everyday, Sehun. Every single day and I never missed one,"

  
Luhan is crying out of frustration now. This is the first time he let out what he truly feels. He never told it to anyone.No one knew the story behind the smiles he shows by day. No one ever knew that he cried himself to sleep every night. No one noticed the mask that he wears everyday. No one attempted to ask if he was okay because it was always Sehun who does that... And Sehun wasn't there.

  
"Do you know how much I wondered when will you wake up, if you will ever wake up? All I did was to keep holding on to that little bit of hope. But what can I do? I have a life too, Sehun. I have to live and go on. _A living person needs to live_ ," Luhan continues as the walls that he built years ago finally broke down.

  
Sehun felt guilt, as sharp as a knife, slowly tearing his heart open. He regretted the words he threw at Luhan. In that moment, Sehun realized that he isn't the only one hurting. Luhan is, too, and maybe he has felt much more pain in the time that he was alone. But he isn't now. As much as Sehun hated it,he can't help but admit to himself that he's starting to accept the fact that Luhan is married now.

  
"Then, does she know... about us?" Sehun asked.  
"You should not keep secrets in a relationship, especially if you're married," Luhan smiles, "If I didn't tell her, that would be like cheating. I can't do that, not to her,"  
And with a bitter smile, Sehun asks, "Do you love her, then?"  
"Yes I do. It has been an honor to love her,"  
And for Sehun's last question, "Do you love me?"  
Luhan pursed his lips and let a tear fall from his eyes, "I loved you..."

  
Sehun lets out a laugh, a fake one obviously. He even sent Luhan a smile, a very expensive smile which costs a lot of pain and courage. It's the only thing he could do to stop himself from crying. Sehun can't cry, not in front of Luhan. Because that would mean that he doesn't accept Luhan's decision. And honestly, Sehun already accepted it.

  
"Can you... can you give me a sec?" Sehun asked and quickly turned around before the first teardrop could even fall.

  
Sehun let everything out. There was never a sound or a sob but he silently lets every tear fall on his face. It was only a sound of an unfamiliar voice that made him wipe away his tears and face Luhan again. And as if the world is mocking him, there beside Luhan stands a little girl, maybe five or six years old, and Sehun's world crashed again before him.

  
"Daddy, who is he?"  
"Mei, this is Sehun," Luhan introduced, "Daddy's--"  
"Friend," Sehun finished.  
Luhan gave him a worried look but continued nevertheless, "Yes, he is daddy's friend. Why don't you greet him?"  
And just like the cute, obedient girl she is, she obeyed his father, "Hello. My name is Mei and I love chocolate bubble tea,"  
"Why don't you two have a chat? You see Mei, Uncle Sehun loves chocolate bubble tea too. I'll just go to mommy for a while, okay?" Luhan smiles at his daughter.  
Mei nodded and before Luhan could leave, Sehun held his hand, a gesture that he hasn't done in years.

  
"Never tell Mei about us. _Pretend we never happened._ Not knowing about us won't hurt her anyway," Sehun pleads, "Do this not only for her sake, but for yours as well as her father,"

  
Luhan hesitated. The least that he could do for his daughter is to be honest with her. Luhan planned long ago how he would break the truth to her, about who really is the man lying on the bed in the hospital room that Luhan always visited, sometimes with his daughter. About who he really is to Luhan. But it seems that Sehun's doesn't want him to do so.

  
"Promise me," Sehun pleads again.  
And with one word, Luhan smiled and left.

  
_"Promise..."_

\---

  
In the short time that the two spent together, they already got to know each other better. They even shared the drink that Sehun bought as they sat under the shade of the sycamore tree. Mei told him many things, about her mother, her daddy, her uncles that are too noisy for her liking. Sehun noticed that he's really like her father. They share the same interets and they think the same way.

  
"You have your father's eyes," Sehun complimented.  
The little girl giggled, "I get that a lot. Actually, daddy and I are having a bet. He thinks that my soon-to-be brother or sister will look like him. But I think he or she will look like mommy,"

  
"That's good," Sehun slowly became silent.  
"I only knew about it today. Mommy told me that I'm going to be an older sister soon. I didn't get it at first, but then daddy told me mommy's going to have another child,"

  
_Another child_. The words ring in Sehun's mind."You're very lucky," he only answers.  
Sehun only gives half hearted answers to the little girl. He wishes that, even for just a bit, Mei would notice his sadness. But she didn't, and he feels relieved, so relieved... and a little disappointed.

  
"My daddy loves many things. He loves me and mommy, taro, trees, and even Qianjin!"  
"Qianjin?"

  
And as if on cue, a white dog came running towards them. Well if it isn't the puppy from before who got Sehun into an acident. He wanted to get the dog out of his sight. But he can clearly see that the Mei loves it. And just by seeing the warm smile that little girl has on her face, Sehun starts to like the dog now. He chose and bought it after all. Even if the dog almost got him killed.

  
"Isn't that the name your father always wanted?"

  
"Oh! How did you know? Not even mommy knows about it," Mei asked.  
Sehun still remembers it. Luhan wanted that name very much. He even asked Sehun to call him  that name most of the time. It was a secret between the two of them before, and now also Luhan's daughter. Sehun feels so happy because at least there's something between him and Luhan that still remains.

  
"I was the first one to know about it," Sehun smiles.

  
Sehun find Mei adorable and beautiful. She is Luhan's daughter after all. She smiles and laughs at the littlest things, just like his father. And in the short time that Sehun spent with her, he never felt sad nor miserable. But now, even with her bright toothy grin that she showed to Sehun, he felt the familiar heavy feeling inside his chest; sadness as the little girl spoke of the words, with such innocence..

  
_"You must be very special to my father,"_

  
\---

Mei's mini birthday party took place half an hour later. Everyone sang for her as she blew the little candles on her cake. When it was time for presents, Sehun didn't have one for her so Mei asked him, to sit beside her, "Open my presents with me. Meeting you is already a present for me,"  
Just then, Mei's mother appeared, "Why don't you thank everyone for coming here today?"

  
And just by hearing her voice, Sehun knew her already. An image of a woman with jet black hair tied into a bun with petite hands whose touch ialready familiar to Sehun appeared in his mind. It was the owner of the softest and kindest pair of eyes Sehun ever saw... It was her.

  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Oh," she smiles, "I believe I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Hana, Luhan's wife,"

  
It was like a thousand bricks falling on you, really, meeting the woman who managed to capture the heart of the man you love. Sehun feels exactly like that. He held his breath as he looks at the woman standing before him. It was the nurse from earlier, the kind nurse that Sehun admired. But now, he doesn't know exactly what to feel about her. Anger? Envy? Sehun wasn't sure. All he knows now is that he pity himself.

  
"I'm Sehun..."

 

 

After proper introductions, the three, Luhan, Hana, and Sehun, went outside. Sehun never felt so little in his life. Standing in front of the man he loves with his wife isn't exactly a wonderful sight for him. Honestly, Sehun is still a little angry but he isn't exactly sure to whom. Luhan? Hana? Himself? He doesn't know because he feels so betrayed. All he knows is that he wants Luhan back. Luhan is his in the first place after all. But then, he remembered Mei.

  
Mei, who is as beautiful as flowers during spring, who is brighter than the sun, and the person Luhan and Hana cherishes the most. Sehun smiled bitterly to himself. He can't destroy a family just to make himself happy.

  
Luhan told Sehun what really happened and Sehun learns that the two met in the hospital. Hana was Sehun's personal nurse and Luhan, who visits him daily, grew fond of her. Luhan telling Sehun how he fell in love for another person is so painful for the latter that he decided to just listen halfheartedly. Sehun was only bearing with it but he fakes a smile throughout the whole time that Luhan was telling the story.

  
"I know I'm late but, congratulations on your marriage," Sehun smiles sincerely this time.  
"Thank you, I appreciate it," Luhan smiles as well.  
"Aren't you mad at me, Mr. Oh?" Hana asks.  
"Everyone deserves kindness," Sehun quoted what she said earlier, "It wouldn't do me any good to hold a grudge against you forever,"  
"I'm really sorry," she apologized again.  
"Don't be. Because apologizing to me is like saying that you are sorry to marry Luhan. You aren't, are you?"  
"No... But I feel bad,"  
"I'm the one who will feel bad if you do. Don't worry about me, especially now that you are expecting another child. I'll move on and go forward with my life. I will be fine," Sehun reassured her but honestly, he was telling those words to himself.

  
Hana hesitated but Sehun firmly held her hand, "Take care of him. Love him like I do or even more. And drop the formalities as well. I'm still his bestfriend after all,"

 

\---

The moon already replaced the sun in its place hours ago. The stars filled the sky now and the wind is getting chilly but Sehun still stayed outside. He told the couple earlier to get inside since it's not good for Hana if she catches a cold but honestly, he just wants to be alone. He doesn't want anyone's company at the moment. He simply wanted to be alone. Sehun isn't angry anymore. He let go of that feeling the moment he remembered Mei. Sehun isn't crying either but that doesn't change the fact that he feels sad, miserable, and empty, like something very important is missing.

  
Now as Sehun watches Luhan with a blissful smile on his face with his family, he sees how happy Luhan is. If there's one thing that Sehun can never take away from Luhan, that would be his happiness, his bliss. And that bliss is the people he has in his life now, his own family.

  
Realizing this led Sehun to slowly leave Luhan's place. His steps are slow and heavy. Every now and then, he stops and turns around to check if Luhan would come after him. He thinks that it's impossible but Sehun still hoped... And good thing he did.

  
"Shixun!"  
Sehun almost cried out of joy when he heard his name, the name that Luhan used to call him. "I missed you calling me that," Sehun says but never did he face the older lad.  
"Look at me," Luhan commands.  
And Sehun slowly did, revealing his face full of tears to Luhan. Seeing this made Luhan rush over to Sehun.  
"You're crying," Luhan wiped the tears from his face, "And you're cold," he sounds totally worried.  
Sehun tried the lighten up his mood, "My tears are warm. I'll be fine as long as I cry,"  
"Sehun..." Luhan lightly scolded, but brought the taller lad closer to him, "This is warmer," he hugged him tightly.

  
Luhan was right. His hug is warmer. Sehun feels another batch of fresh tears forming in his eyes as he hugged Luhan back. This could be the last time so he might as well cherish it. He won't feel Luhan's warmth anymore. From the soft hiccuping sounds that Luhan makes, Sehun could tell that Luhan is crying too. Both didn't know how long it lasted but Sehun was the one who pulled himself from their hug. If they stayed like that even for another second, Sehun was sure that it would be more painful to let go.

  
"I have to go. Tell Mei that I wish her a happy birthday again,"  
"You're going back alone? I could give you a ride back to the hospital," Luhan offered.  
"No, it's okay. Junmyeon told me I should exercise so walking won't be a problem. I'll be fine, Luhan," he reassured.  
"Promise?"

  
Luhan's promise meant a lot of things.

  
_Promise me that you will take care of yourself._  
_Promise me that you'll be fine._  
_Promise me that you won't cry anymore._  
_Promise me that you'll try to be happy, that you will be happy._  
_And many more..._

  
"Promise..."  
But Sehun's promise only meant one thing.

  
_I promise I will move on._

\---

All Sehun wishes for is for Luhan to be happy.

  
Even after finding out about Luhan's new life, Sehun continues to make Luhan happy. And that is by smiling in front of them by day and crying by himself at night. He's left alone again, just like when he was in a coma. He's hurt much much more than before. Luhan's happy with his family now. Sehun should be happy too, right? Because he got his wish. But still, Sehun's wish stays and will always stay the same...

  
Even if he's not a part of Luhan's bliss.

 

 

 

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> My original work is posted on Asianfanfics.


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